Dig My Grave by Dana Curtz

If you dig deep enough

You will see

What there is

to see of Me

My soul is far from perfect

My second self screaming to the legion

There is nothing left

Just endless bleeding from the pain

My sightless eyes sewn shut

My hands mangled in suffocating air

They reach out in the blackness

In ignorant hope that another is there

No one. Nothing. Empty.

Always alone, no one around

Though I touch a thousand bodies

My ears throb from the silent sound

So I here I am in my cage

Don't want to touch you

Afraid you'll see the rage

The range proved to be very relaxing. I continued to shoot Mike. A lot. I knew come Monday morning, my career was going to have a major setback. And that set me to thinking. Do I like being an attorney in a law firm or did I enjoy the feel of the gun in my hand? Would being a cop be more fun? Too many rules.

 

“When did you get the .380?”

 

“Huh?” I pulled my ear muffs off one ear so I could hear Tiff.

 

“Amber, here and now, when did you get the .380? It’s cute!”

 

“More ex issues. Got it a while back,” I handed the baby hand-gun to Tiffany to allow her to fire it a time or two. When she finished the clip, I tapped the ear muffs. She pulled one of hers off and I did the same.

“Tif, what do you think of me as a cop?”

 

She stared at me. Her eyes narrowed and then widened and then she smiled, “You’d make a great policewoman!”

 

Ohhh PC and all. An idea flashed! Hmmm.

 

“What do you think of me as a PI? A Private eye?”

 

Tiffany’s lips turned into a thin line. Her brows creased.

 

“I don’t think that would be entirely the best profession for you. At least if you were a cop you would have a partner to watch you.”

 

I shrugged and pulled my muffs back on and shoved a new clip into the gun. The thoughts continued churning. Would I like to be a cop? I think I would. Maybe I’d look for Hart on the Internet, and after I got him calmed down for the fax then I’d ask what he thought. I mean if I were a police officer then Mike couldn’t kick me out of a crime scene, of course he could because he’d likely be my supervisor but then again what if i didn’t stay in Great Falls? Of course I would. I came back after college. I like Great Falls too much to leave. Working with Mike kind of made my stomach hurt. his possessiveness and need to protect me would get in my way. It would get on my nerves and I’m sure shooting a fellow cop was against the rules. Being a PI, now that sounded like a job for me. I would be like a cop but I could make my own hours. I could carry a weapon because I already had the permit. I’d be like magnum PI. With boobs. And no moustache.

Sautrday: Part Five

I slumped into the couch. What a day and it was just starting too!

Ralph was definitely going to be pissed when he found out what I'd done. I thought about Hart. I thought about the murders. This was getting out of control. Crazy beyond crazy. I picked up my phone and dialed Tif.

"Hey, sweety," I was trying not to let my argument with Mike seep through in my voice, "wanna head out to the range with me for a bit today? I feel like shootin' holes in something."

"Have you looked outside?" She sounded shocked.

"Yeah. It's snowing. And?"

"It's a freakin blizzard! We can't go to the range in this weather. We couldn't see anything."

"We can go to the new indoor place out on Bootlegger Trail. I got a membership a couple weeks back when they first opened. I have all of my guest passes still. Come on. Please." I did not want to sit home and dwell on the fact that I knew Mike was making a big mistake in his assumptions about this case.

"Pick me up then. We're taking your truck."

"As if the mini-van would make it anywhere. I'll be there when I get there. I'll bring the coffee."

"You bring your coffee, Amber, I don't want to get the jitters and shoot the ceiling. I'll drink water."

"Whatever," I laughed, "see you shortly."

The stairs were nothing when I was in this type of mood. I headed up, changed into a pair of faded blue jeans, an off white turtleneck sweater and re combed the ponytail. I only added eyeliner and eye shadow out of habit. I mean, girls are girls, we're supposed to look like girls, right? Back down the stairs I went after checking my appearance one more time. Slut? Whatever. I was cute. Sluts were well-ridden, old looking.

I slid my well stockinged feet into the motorcycle boots loving the feel of the leather barrier. I grabbed my Thermos and filled it with the rest of the hot coffee and grabbed four granola bars to snack on at the range. Two for me and two for Tiffany; we both liked the peanut butter flavored. I readjusted the pony to the lower part of my head and put my bright purple beanie on. I loved that hat even if it did look funky against my red hair.

Checking the blowing snow one more time I opted to take a scarf, both my fingerless and fingered gloves and my heavy leather riding jacket. I had extra nylons in the glove compartment of my truck for cold days and hunting season. As I mentioned before, I don't do dresses. The nylons would come in handy under my jeans if it were too cold in the Rut Shooters range.

The sky was almost frightening and would have been if I were easily scared. It was eerie with the snow coming down and whirling around. I was unable to even place the sun, unable to even place the cloud covered orb that was usually the sun during such a day. The trees resembled icy hands whipping in the wind, the birds and squirrels that made their homes in them long since gone or asleep due to the early snow. I shivered. I didn't know if it was from the thick and heavy feeling in the air or from the cold, either way I just wanted to get going.

My truck and I bumped over the road towards Tiffany's, wondering if the street were ever going to get fixed and what the hell the road crews were actually dong if the street was still this bumpy. I cranked the stereo playing AC/DC Who Made Who to cover the howl of the wind outside. So this wasn't my best decision ever. Better than getting married for shits and giggles in Vegas.